I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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