I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
