so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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