what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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