lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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