I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The best revenge is premature balding
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
