Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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