Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
