things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
