I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
