walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
