shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
