90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
