as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
