OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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