Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize