Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
