when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There's always time for handjobs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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