lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
