Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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