I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Someone came in the potted fern
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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