see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
