so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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