smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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