After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
