A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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