Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
