No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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