I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
