remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I will be naked everywhere
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
