You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
