big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
