Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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