I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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