dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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