Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
