Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize