who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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