Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
