he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
