ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
