The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
