I don't think brook has ever known best
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
