what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
