No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
