I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
