Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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