your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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