everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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