You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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