Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
