About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
