all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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