Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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