I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize