Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
