he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
