so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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