they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
