just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
