OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
