Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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