with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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