Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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