So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
