Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
high people should be assigned attendants
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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