I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
