If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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