Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
